Jealousy

Panties and I discussed m*n at length this weekend. She had asked that she be permitted to attend an event as an m*n. I laughed and replied, "but you are not an m*n". I then proceeded to describe several sexy foreigners I had dated--real m*n--m*n with long lean bodies, chiseled features, and baritone voices. These men did not wear panties. These men and I shared discourse on soft and hard sciences, and intimacies also of the soft and hard nature; we did not share our desires for the perfect pair of panties. Panties was jealous to hear such things. She asked if she might have a girlfriend who describes her this way. With a smirk, I told her, "I don't take your "relationships" with women seriously; you should be happy that Life-size Barbie lets you kiss her". Panties then rose from her knees in silence. With her head bowed and turned away from me, she retrieved her fiance', Life-size Barbie, from a corner and took her into the closet where Panties was living. I slipped out quietly while Panties shared an intimate moment with Life-size Barbie.

ATM

 

She is a struggling artist, destitute at times, but there is not a venal atom in her. Miss J for example, would never pass up a chance to obligate Panties to pay for her needs and was in fact, light-fingered about anything Panties owned which caught her eye, including, jewelry, perfume and cash. Miss D fully understands her power, but is so generous about her time as well as expenses. She declined when Panties offered to reimburse her for an evening with her friends. She wears a lush green coat which she got on sale with a broach pinned over a minor stain. She worries about her student loans but will travel or buy a present for her best friend on her last dollar, because that’s the way she is.

Boots, Skirts and Pantihose

 

Later, Miss D had on a pair of her stylish boots which she says is the best thing about winter. The boots were very sexy and fit well. She wanted a pair with flat heels, however, and remembered fondly, a pair of boots with a thick heel she had worn to the ground. Panties listened sympathetically, as she did when the conversation shifted to the subject of who she thought was hot. Miss D pointed out several she liked, rather the John Cusack type, a little scruffy, someone who you might notice in some hip coffee bar, maybe with a white laptop open. Miss segued into Panties’ having to sit and watch her with a real M*n at a show or restaurant, dressed of course as a woman, watching Miss D attend to someone she was physically, intellectually, sensually attracted to. She had read Miss B’s account and she liked the idea of Panties paying for her night out with her Man. Panties’ ears burned as she stared down at her pantihose and the hem of her skirt, but not nearly as much as they would in a subsequent conversation, the kind girls get into when they are with girl friends they can trust with every intimacy.

Not A Date

 

Earlier Miss D helped Panties understand how “confused” she was about her time spent with females, that Panties somehow mistook going out with a girl friend for an actual date. “Your girl friends, see you as a girl friend,” she said. “There is no question of you relating to them the way that a m*n would.” Miss D has been going out every night possible this week. Her friends were all over town and she met several at a time at one particular jazz spot they like. Panties was grateful when she was invited along for any outing, but wasn’t that surprised at being dressed always to match her purse and shoes. Panties’ half-hearted request to go out just once dressed in m*n clothing, carrying a wallet or maybe a "m*n bag, was brushed off like it was a joke. Getting dressed, Miss D fussed over Panties the way she might with a young girl or a doll. Panties was seen by all in a black blouse and black-and-white skirt that matched the red, black and white print Miss D was wearing. Miss D brought Panties into the ladies room and after posed with her for photos.

Doing it the Hard Way

 


A while ago, she explained how girls will hook a bra around the front, then slide it around and pull up the straps. Yesterday, Panties averted her eyes as Miss D bared her back and shoulders. She slipped her arms into the straps and reached back to hook the bra. As a transvestite, Panties is faithful to this motion which defines “putting on your bra.” To see a real girl, even obliquely, put on her bra this way, is to be dazzled by her femaleness.

Learning Her Tastes

 

Miss D got into the corners of the kitchen and found a box of brownies mix as well as some Barbie sprinkles Panties had once used for Miss B's cookies. On the corner of a napkin, Miss D wrote in green ink: Fun baking for you. She also left packages of instant oatmeal and an envelope of Carnation Instant Breakfast with instructions in a quick scrawl: Breakfast Friday, or cream of wheat which I like better. She likes eggs, too.

Miss D Takes a Bath

 

When she and her best friend were girls, they used to love The Rocky Horror Show. “I love transvestites, she said, “And I’ve always wanted a secretary. And a maid. And now I have my personal transvestite.” Panties returned to find a handwritten note on pink paper: Panties, I’m taking a bath in my swimsuit so that you can help me as my nurse maid. You’ll straighten up the mess I left, do my feet, help me choose my outfit. It was a cute dress which looked cuter when she was wearing it. And so the city was prettified until a late hour by Miss D and her second closest friend, Miss R.