Friday, September 25, 2009

My Career

 

Panties was told to put together a professional outfit: a women's suit, (not a pants suit) which she would wear whenever doing Miss D’s secretarial work. Miss D once worked as a secretary where she hated having to wear pantihose everyday and where she was expected to be a pretty thing with no opinions. She has modeled Panties' career on her distasteful memories, including the pantihose and disregard of opinions. She added the kind of pantihose with a line down the back and a bow which ties at the neck. Panties was told to clear a shelf specifically for Miss D’s work and to set up files in anticipation of the tasks to come.

Panties was told to buy several expensive books for Miss D. Two were filled with just addresses which would go with more than one database Miss D needs for her career. When Panties received the following email, she wondered (politely) what kind of secretary, unpaid, is expected to pay for all secretarial supplies (including toner for Miss D’s laser printer), postage, as well as books. Miss D replied with the second message.

Dear Panties,

This excel spreadsheet should be a separate database for you to keep
in addition to other databases you'll be making. This is to be a
model for your other databases. You are only to act on my behalf
with my express permission.

D

Panties,

Quit bitching about your oh so difficult life. Instead, put on
make-up; wrap my books in airtight plastic; fill the tub with warm
water and bubbles; and take a long loving bath with my books. Let the
pretentiousness and manly desires dissipate and dissolve. Think of
how much you loved kissing my boxes, and how much of an alpha m*le
you felt like you were when you posted that blog about kissing the
boxes and your manly hopes goodbye. A sissy should always struggle.
Just do your job. And never sign your name as P. You are Panties.

D
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