Saturday, October 10, 2009

Brownies

 

Miss D has been training Panties to increasingly prioritize her well-being and long term goals. It seems like ages ago that Panties could ignore Miss D’s calls or treat any request in terms of favors which Miss D had to be properly grateful for. Miss D has authoritatively pushed to the front of Panties consciousness, dominating her thoughts. Panties has begun to reflexively review whether Miss D has any needs, what makes Miss D happy, what outstanding assignments Panties has to get to. When she catches herself resenting the tedium of a request, or feeling annoyance at how Miss D has shaped this new relationship, Panties feels a wave of love and gratitude push her personal ambitions back, replacing them with a desire to work harder in the service of Miss D’s interests. To her surprise, Panties has found herself striving fervently to prove her worth in Miss D’s eyes, as a maid, secretary and servant. She hungers for Miss D’s approval and trust.

Inspired by the movie, Secretary, Miss D asked Panties to buy a purple blouse and pencil skirt and seamed hose to wear when she does her secretarial tasks. This week Panties called around for shows Miss D is interested in, and even went to the box office to purchase tickets. Recently she extensively researched Miss D’s travel preferences, including what kind of in-flight meal (vegetarian) to order and whether she prefers aisle or window seats (window). Panties took care of all details for one of her upcoming trips. She set up a travel profile for Miss D at a travel site and called in seating arrangements. Panties was proud that she saved $90 by checking the next day for price changes. As if to reward her, Miss D brought over a large bag filled with bills and unopened mail, intimating that while there might come a time when Panties would voluntarily (and happily!) be fully responsible for these matters, for the present, she should get used to being the one to open and organize all of Miss D’s onerous mail, leaving her to enjoy the more positive correspondence. Panties also shopped for and purchased several reference books, each a heavy reminder of many work weeks to come doing all the drudge work which Miss D is increasingly feeling entitled to assign to Panties.

Finally, after a particularly busy week during which Panties begged for a little “room” so to give her non-sissy priorities some chance, Miss D agreed that the line representing pure obedience has yet to be crossed, and she sympathetically agreed to Panties’ plea. Soon after, however Panties received an email with an electrifying (to Panties) subject line: Brownies. It was a light request asking Panties to bake Miss D a batch of brownies, but the assumption of obedience was thunderous, especially in light of Miss D’s agreeing to go easy on Panties for a while. Baking involved going out for eggs and vegetable oil and then several hours of kitchen baking and clean-up. And in Miss D’s subsequent email, she so casually mentioned how she was looking forward to Panties’ purchase of pens, post-its, printer paper and toner while outlining a serious mailing which would involve several trips to the post office. Again, there was no mention of her having to reimburse Panties for any time or expenses. There was a short, intense moment of conflict in Panties’ mind, before her desire to please Miss D and prove herself won out. Panties pushed aside all her (selfish/m*nly) thoughts to tend to Miss D’s needs, quickly and thoroughly.
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